We went in with a healthy dose of cynicism - here’s what we made of the new to the UK Goop beauty offering

Last night, I got Gooped. My bathroom was essentially a Gwyneth Paltrow shrine, my shelves suddenly “clean and green” and my tub thoroughly “G-toxed”. This wholesome self-care switch was brought about by the recent launch of Goop at Cult Beauty , which now stocks everything from Goop Glow supplements  to Emotional Detox Bath Salts  and eau de Goop style fragrance , making the lifestyle blog a tangible, glow-giving reality in British homes up and down the land.

There are no controversial jade vagina eggs or vulva steamers here, you’ll be pleased to discover - the Goop beauty offering is simple and clean in every sense of the word, from ethos to ingredients to packaging. We lathered up with a few of the new launches to see how the Goop beauty range performed…

The flash face mask

Goop Exfoliating Instant Facial , £112, is flash in every sense of the word. It works in three minutes, leaving skin soft, smooth and definitely less dull (once a bit of redness subsided in my case), but it will also leave your wallet pretty thoroughly cleaned out too. It’s brimming with dead-skin shifting  AHAs and BHAs , and while the combo of these alongside plant cellulose physical exfoliating beads may prove too much for sensitive skins, I fared fine, although I didn’t rub the beads around too much (I could already feel the acid tingle and didn’t want to go there).

Aloe vera is present and correct in large quantities for soothing effect and there are hydrating agents aplenty in the form of nourishing plant extracts and hyaluronic acid , although beware if fragrant plant oils cause you issues. All in all, I found that it did what it said on the neat white pot, but at this kind of triple figure price tag I probably could have squeezed in a few actual facials. It works, but at quite a price.

The seriously thorough shampoo

Goop G.Tox Himalayan Salt Scrub Shampoo , £38 for 200ml, was my favourite of the Goop loot I tried - still pricey, clearly, but it’s designed to clear away your scalp cobwebs once or twice a week and for a scrub it feels fairly gentle. It works up into nice thick suds, and while it takes longer to wash out than your average shampoo, my hair was very shiny afterwards with minimal scalp flakeage (I’m quite literally going through a dandruff patch so this was quite something).

As well as the hipster millennial pink salt, you’ve got cold-pressed (only the best) moringa oil for moisture, alongside rosehip oil and a cocktail of rosemary, geranium, orange and peppermint to leave a natural herby scent on hair. I can see myself turning to this regularly during a Sunday home spa session.

The bath cocktail

“The Martini” Emotional Detox Bath Soak , £30 for 680g, is probably the ‘unconscious coupling’ of the range - it’s as hippie dippy and Goopy as a bath product could probably get, but buzzwords aside it actually makes sense, after all, baths carry more connotation of relaxation than a lightening speed shower ever would. Also, a bath martini sounds seriously inviting to me to me, so I was happy to dive in.

Within the pouch our old pink pal Himalayan salt features highly, although it's really not pink - more of an off-yellow colour, which makes the bathwater look less than inviting, but not everything's for the 'gram so moving on. There's also Epsom salt, chia seed oil to hydrate skin and a mixology worthy fragrance blend designed to soothe your senses - sleep promoting valerian root, passion flower and vetiver are all weaved in there, but overall I found it quite spicy and peppery. One bag supposedly supplies three baths worth of salts, but at this price point I’d stretch it out to double that and just use half a cup per ‘serving’ - it’s strong anyway so this is a cocktail you can afford to water down on every level. It makes for an indulgent end of day ritual and does result in post-gym limbs and muscles feel all melty afterwards. Your call on whether you splash out on this particular martini…

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