Carmex launches comic book-themed lip balm and pop up store at Selfridges

2013

A WEST LONDON OFFICE

POPULATION 9

RESIDENCE OF THE GLOSSY POSSE

10AM

AT GTG HQ, THE #GLOSSYPOSSE HAVE BEEN RENDERED A SHADOW OF THEIR FORMER SELVES THANKS TO THE DIABOLICAL BEHAVIOUR OF THE BITTER BLUE BLIZZARD.

POSING AS A COURIER, THE TEAM WERE BLINDSIDED BY HIS UNEXPECTED ARRIVAL EARLIER THAT MORNING AND WERE FROZEN WITH FEAR, LITERALLY, AS THEY WATCHED HIM CRUELLY CAST HIS CURSE OF WINTRY COLD WIZARDRY UPON THE NOTTING HILL AREA.

10.45AM

LEAVING THE DEAFENING SOUND OF TEETH CHATTERING AND BODIES SHIVERING IN HIS WAKE, THE TEAM’S ONCE PRIMED, PREPPED AND PLUMPED UP PUCKERS HAVE SOON BECOME PARCHED,  CRACKED AND WORST OF ALL, CHAPPED.

WITH THE PAIN PROVING TOO DIFFICULT TO OVERCOME, CONVERSATION HAS DRAWN TO AN UNTIMELY HALT, PHONE CALLS HAVE BEEN LEFT ANSWERED, EMAILS LEFT UNFINISHED AND MAKE-UP LEFT UNTESTED.

WHAT IS TO BECOME OF THIS YOUNG TEAM NOW? SO FULL OF PROMISE, SUCH POTENTIAL LEFT UNREALISED. WHO WILL SAVE THEM?

10.46AM

MEANWHILE, AT CARMA LABS: “MY CRUSTY SENSE IS ACTING UP,” EXCLAIMS THE MUSCLEBOUND CAPTAIN CARMEX, ONE HALF OF THE ACCLAIMED CARMEX CRUSADERS. “GOOD GOLLY,” HIS WELL-BOSOMED FEMALE COMPATRIOT ADDS, “MINE TOO. SOMETHING IS AFOOT AT GLOSS TOWERS. LET’S ROLL.”

12PM

WITH AN EMPHATIC CRASH, THUMP AND WALLOP, THE DYNAMIC DUO BURST THROUGH THE WINDOWS OF GLOSS TOWERS (THE BUZZER WASN’T WORKING), TO DELIVER A SAMPLE OF THE NEW LIMITED EDITION COMIC-THEMED  CARMEX LIP BALM .

AS THEY APPLY THE SOOTHING, TINGLING BEESWAX, MENTHOL AND CAMPHOR ENRICHED FORMULA TO THEIR POOR POUTS, THE TEAM START TO SLOWLY REGAIN CONSCIOUSNESS.

A SMILE GRADUALLY CREEPS ONTO EDITOR-IN-CHIEF,  SUSANNAH TAYLOR’S  LIPS, “HOW CAN WE EVER THANK YOU?” SHE EXCLAIMS. “WE ARE ETERNALLY GRATEFUL” SAYS CREATIVE DIRECTOR,  SARAH VINE , A TEAR TRICKLING DOWN HER CHEEK.

“WE DON’T DO THIS FOR THE THANKS,” DECLARES CAPTAIN CARMEX AS HE FLEXES A GUN, “JUST DROP BY OUR COMIC BOOK THEMED POP-UP AT  SELFRIDGES   FROM THE 7TH OF NOVEMBER TO THE 13TH AND PICK UP SOME MORE SUPPLIES. YOU’LL ALSO TAKE AWAY A COPY OF OUR LIMITED EDITION COMIC WHILE YOU’RE THERE TOO.”

“AND, AHEM, TELL YOUR READERS ABOUT IT,” HE QUICKLY ADDS BEFORE THE DUO SWIFTLY ASCEND INTO THE NOW, CLEAR BLUE SKIES.

“CALL ME!” SHOUTS ART EDITOR,  SARAH MCGINNIS . HE HAS CERTAINLY MADE AN IMPRESSION.

3PM

“THE CARMEX CRUSADERS WERE CREATED TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT CHAPPED LIPS ARE A THING OF THE PAST,” SAYS PRESIDENT OF CARMEX, PAUL WOELBING AT THE PRESS CONFERENCE AT CITY HALL. “WE NEED TO UNITE IN OUR HATRED OF THE BLUE BLIZZARDS OF THE UNIVERSE AND KISS DRY LIPS GOODBYE FOREVER. WE DON’T KNOW WHEN THE NEXT ATTACK WILL BE, BUT AS LONG AS WE STAND SHOULDER-TO-SHOULDER, ARMED WITH OUR ORIGINAL CARMEX COMIC POTS – WE CAN ALL HAVE SOFT AND SMOOTH LIPS IN NO TIME!”

“OUR PARTNER COOPERATION, SELFRIDGES HAVE PROVIDED THE PERFECT LOCATION FOR OUR POP-UP MISSION AND WE’RE EXCITED TO SEE CARMEX FANS ENJOY OUR LATEST CREATION.”

3.05PM

(A SHADOWY FIGURE AT THE BACK OF THE CROWDS)

“YOU THINK YOU’VE DEFEATED ME THIS TIME CARMEX CRUSADERS, BUT I WILL BE BACK, I PROMISE YOU I WILL I TELL YOU! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! OH!”

TO BE CONTINUED…