Imogen Edwards-Jones celebrates three years as our beauty guinea pig by revealing what's really worth your time and money
Over the past three years of writing this column (that long already!) I have been metamorphosed from an overweight, full-bushed, cream-averse ginge, with cloven feet and an arse that had its own momentum; into a quite-a-nice-weight, half-bushed, cream-aholic blonde, with presentable feet and an arse that now only wobbles under duress.
How have I performed such a magnificent makeover of mythical Richard and Judy proportions, I hear you ask? Crikey, you must have a Little Black Book of utter marvellousness! I know, I know, I do, I do. So here it is. Ten beauty tips/treatments/procedures that work. How do I know they work? I have done them all myself. Are you sitting comfortably?
Old school, I know. But it’s good and it does the job. I have touted my forehead all over town and I have come to the conclusion if you want to avoid the full Simon Cowell lazy-eyed look then ditch the beautician with the needles and go to Vicky Dondos at Medicetics, W1 . A qualified surgeon capable of reconstructing your face, she knows about muscles, expressions and exactly where to shove her needles. She is, in short, the Queen of Botox.
The Dracula Facelift
If this beauty treatment so beloved of Kim K can turn around the epidermis of a freckle-faced, vodka-swilling, Marlboro-Lighting fortysomething, then think what it could do for someone less challenged? And King Dracula? It's Dr Daniel Sister at BeautyWorksWest in London’s Notting Hill. He is quick and accurate with them there needles.
It’s all about Amelia Freer. With a number one book in the UK, a number one book in the USA, a GTG column and endorsements from Sam Smith , Boy George and my very good friend who lost two stone after a hip replacement – don’t just take my word for it. Two stone lighter and two years counting , wherever Amelia’s is going, I am going too!
I hate my feet, I always have. They are too small and too stubby and the main reason why I always fall over when over-served alcohol. However the older I get the more I realise I need to look after them and Margaret Dabbs’s salon in Cavendish Street, W1, with her special emu oil foot lotions is by far the best in town.
I am a bit of a tart when it comes to hair. I will go anywhere just so long as I can drink the coffee, avoid the brownie and come out looking better than I went in. However, for exceptional cutting George Northwood is the smartest with the scissors , Josh Wood is the best with those honey-coloured highlights. And for best up-do? Well, I loved Harry Casey at Jamie Stevens in West London. He does all the ‘stars’ for the X Factor, but don’t hold that against him!
I have never been one for the gym. I love a bit of dogging yoga-style but I have never seen the point of weights and sweating. However since meeting Joslyn Thompson Rule , I have changed my tune, mainly because there is no escaping her FaceTime phone call first thing in the morning. And there is no escaping the results of her hard-core HIIT training workout , where you go all out for short periods of time. It’s good. She’s good. Just ask my arse. (You can buy the GTG Project Bikini guide filled with her workout regime if you want to try it for yourself.)
I have had a faceful of peels over the last three years, some have been fabulous and some have been a little bit.. meh. But the one that made a dramatic difference and really piqued the interest of my girlfriends was a peel I did to my chest at EFMedispa on the Kings Road, SW3. It made my shoulders shimmer; my chest glint and I had the most fabulous shiny boobs all summer long.
I hate a facial. I really do, so it has to be really good for me to grit my teeth for a full hour while someone ponces around and pats my face with namby pamby creams. I’d recommend Sharon Oldham who manages to smooth the deepest wrinkles and then the lovely Sisley Facial at Claridges mainly because it is god damn glamorous and I’d go anywhere for that Black Rose Cream Mask.
Don’t underestimate the power of the brow. There are supermodels whose whole careers are based on their bushy black caterpillars. Blink, in Selfridges, Peter Jones and just about anywhere with a proper makeup department is a brilliant concept. It’s quick, cheap and the best £12 you’ll ever spend. It’s like an instant facelift in five minutes flat.
This was one of the more extreme things I have done in the name of Gloss and I shall whisper it quietly; if you have a muffin top and can’t be bothered to stop eating the muffins, then pop down to Medicetics, W1. This process freezes your fat into a pack of butter, killing the cells, so that you simply pee them out. It works better if you don’t have any more muffins, obviously. And it does hurt. But then, as all good Glossers know, that’s beauty for you.