The work Christmas party - it’s a difficult one. You need a drink to help soften the awkwardness of mixing work relationships with holiday merriment, but finding the boundary between delightfully tipsy and absolutely Christmas crackered can be a tricky one. One tequila slammer too many and you’ll be dealing with a situation that's far more awkward in the sobering light of a miserable Monday morning.
However, it might just be possible to save your job (and some dignity) by recognizing the tell-tale signs that you’re well on your way to smashed-ville. Remember these moments, and when they begin to occurr go home - because you my friend are drunk.
1. When you decide that speccy Dan from IT isn’t that bad looking and that his scrupulous attention to detail and love of tupperware boxes would actually make excellent husband material.
2. When you decide that your boss absolutely must know that you and everybody else thinks they’re a douchebag. Make no mistake, they’ll definitely take it on the chin and thank you for your honest and forthwith approach on Monday morning...
3. When you feel brave enough to start dancing. Just resist the temptation people, resist.
4. Remember when you called in sick to work because you were super hungover and missed a really important meeting? Well, get your coat when you decide that it would be funny to lift the lid on that one.
5. When other peoples leftover drinks become your minesweeping targets, and you’re secretly smug that you’re drinking for free.
6. When Mary from accounts becomes the agony aunt you never had, causing you to divulge why you and your boyfriend just don’t mesh well sexually anymore.
7. When flaming sambucas with your CEO seem like the perfect bonding opportunity.
8. When you decide you’re the proud owner of a bottomless bank account and you just can’t wait to buy a round of drinks for your 20 extremely distant yet thirsty co-workers - they’ll definitely repay the favour...
9. When you start to envisage yourself as the sexiest person in the room and all inanimate objects become perfect platforms for your super seductive moves - look out world, here comes Beyonce part II.
10. When It’s 2 am - nothing good ever happens after 2 am. Ever.