Zero, count them, weeks to OMG and I’m not sure I’ll ever do another diet. After all that (admittedly half-hearted) work, it was Six Weeks to -2KG. If not Six Weeks to FFS.
Venice A Fulton promised that I’d find subtle lifestyle changes such as breakfast-dodging and fruit shunning so easy to adopt, they would become part of my life even after I completed his plan. But he reckoned without my mind and body’s dedication to being Size 13: together, they conspired subtly to undermine him throughout my six weeks and, now that the diet is over, are telling me to EAT like there is no tomorrow. Not only am I not skipping breakfast, I’m not skipping snacks (mid-morning, mid-afternoon and the killer, late night – all happening).
It’s unfortunately timed with the start of Christmas (for a food writer, mince pies come early, and often). But then something a little more helpful arrived on my desk: G’NOSH healthy dips.
Although dips are my easy home appetiser of choice, I’m personally rather fussy about them. I think this particular phobia was born of my horror of mayonnaise – back in the early days of supermarket dips, everything seemed to be a sort of creamy slop and you had to leave the labels out to let people know which was cheese and chive, Tex-Mex, thousand island, taramasalata… yeuch.
What I like are the healthier options such as houmous, salsa and guacamole – still slop, yes, but slop that is firmly identifiable as having once been food. It turns out that G’NOSH founder Charlotte Knight felt the same – used to the natural dips available in her native New Zealand, she saw a gap in the market here in the UK.
She is hoping to break Britain out of its 15-year houmous rut by offering us a smart range of gourmet flavours including sweet black bean, Muhumarra spicy red pepper, beetroot and mint and smoky aubergine baba ghanoush. In your service, I have tried them all and can report that they are perfect Size 13 fodder: thick, vitamin-packed and tasty. And colourful, as I found to my cost while eating the beetroot one somewhat clumsily in a pale grey dress.
You can get them via Ocado or in Budgens, Whole Foods Market, Planet Organic and Harvey Nicks/Selfridges (told you they were posh) at £2.49 for 100ml. As well as the standard size, there is also a snack-sized range of “dippables”, which include some beautiful little Italian grissini, costing £1.89.
If this is all starting to sound like recycled press release “churnalism”, I can only apologise… after six weeks of deprivation, guilt-free carbs seem like manna from heaven. Will they help me to keep those hard-won kilos off? Probably not, but it’s significantly better than being on the Mince Pie Diet.